Tuesday, May 09, 2006

The story of my toe

As shown in the last post, my toenail is not quite normal. It really is quite a nappy thing. Just so, back before my recent retiring of my cross country winged shoes of Hermes, I had a lovely condition called "ingrowntoenail." Awesome. I underwent multiple "toenail-ectomies" in the ensuing months. On the third procedure, the doctor proceeded to jam the scissors in such a way that the toenail would not grow back. It seemed to grow for a few weeks, and then, as you see, it stagnated. It's not fungal, as far as I know, nor is it infected. It's just old. And dead. I anxiously await the time that I will have all ten toenails back in their perfect form, but in the meanwhile, I'll join the freakshow. And thanks to Alex for...fine. Alex did not take that picture. I took it. So, a word of warning to you all: Ingrown toenails are bad. They hurt. Buy wide shoes. And be careful how you clip your toenails--don't clip off the corners too deep. If you do, you'll end up like me. I've always wanted to join a circus.

2 comments:

Alex said...

[shock][awe]Gasp! An update![/awe][/shock]
Didn't you have some deal with your toe back in Pennsylvania, too?

geez...stupid blogger blocks the fake html. Now I have to use BBCode for my fake tags.

Anonymous said...

Oh, dear. Chris had ingrown toenail issues as well.
With sandal season upon us, I truly sympathize. Perhaps a nice pedicure would do the trick? (JK) :)